2025/12/02

타인에 대한 평가와 현명한 처세술 (The Evaluation of Others and Wise Conduct)

1. '똑똑하다'는 말의 이중적 의미

  • 오해의 시작 : 멍청한 짓을 하는 사람에게 "그 사람 똑똑한 사람인데 왜 그런 거지?"라는 말을 들었을 때, 화자는 그 사람을 평가할 줄 모르는 '이상한 사람'이라고 생각했습니다.

  • 숨겨진 의미 (반어법) : 하지만 화자는 곧 '똑똑하다'는 말이 단순한 지능을 넘어,'이기적이고 약삭빠른 잔머리가 있어 바보 같은 짓은 안 할 줄 알았는데...'라는 실망감이나 반어적 표현일 수 있음을 깨닫습니다. 즉, 듣는 이가 '판단력이 미흡한 사람'으로 오해해서는 안 됩니다.

2. 세상의 '억지 주장'과 인간의 본성

  • 예시 (정치적 주장) : 윤석열의 계엄(내란 생중계)을 내란이 아니라고 주장하는 이들처럼, 세상에는 사실을 알면서도 억지 주장을 펴는 거짓말쟁이(20~30%)가 항상 존재한다고 봅니다. 이는 인간 사회의 불가피한 현실로 받아들입니다.

3. 현명한 삶의 태도 (처세술)

  • 기대의 위험성 : 기대가 크면 실망하게 되어 상대방이 멍청하게 보이고, 기대가 적으면 상대방이 똑똑하게 보입니다. 타인에게 큰 기대를 품는 것은 반드시 실망을 가져오는 멍청한 짓입니다.

  • 처세의 원칙 : 가장 좋은 처세술은 '무시하지 않는 선에서 기대하지 않는 것'입니다. 즉, 존중하되 마음을 주어 기대하지 말아야 합니다.

  • 사람은 고쳐쓰는 것이 아니다 : 남을 고치려 애쓰는 것은 미련하고 멍청한 일입니다. 너무 착한 사람이든 너무 독한 사람이든 남을 바꾸려 하는 행위는 피해야 합니다.

4. 삶의 궁극적 정리

  • 핵심 원칙: 삶은 '둥글게 살아야' 합니다.

  • 나 자신에게 집중 : 타인의 평가에 신경 쓰는 것은 시간 낭비입니다. 삶에서 가장 중요한 것은 '나' 자신입니다.


🌟 한국어 및 영어 문장별 정리 (Sentence-by-Sentence Translation)

한국어 (Korean)영어 (English)
멍청한 사람은 무시하면 화를 낸다.A foolish person gets angry when ignored.
그리고 남이 나를 평가하는 말은 무시해도 된다.And the words of others evaluating me can be disregarded.
삶은 둥글게 살아야 한다.Life should be lived harmoniously (lit. 'roundly').
사람은 고쳐쓰는 게 아니다.You cannot fix (or 're-use') a person.
누구에게라도 기대하지 마라 자녀에게도 기대하지 마라.Do not have expectations for anyone, not even your own children.
삶에서 제일 중요한 것은 나다.The most important thing in life is myself.
남에게 신경쓰면서 시간 낭비를 하지 않도록 마음을 다스려라.Control your mind so that you do not waste time worrying about others.

✨ 최종 요약 (The Final Summary)

타인의 행동을 판단할 때, '똑똑하다'는 말은 종종 반어법적인 실망을 담고 있을 수 있으며, 단순한 지능의 문제가 아닐 수 있습니다. 세상에는 억지 주장을 펴는 사람들이 존재하지만, 우리는 그들의 평가나 행동에 에너지를 낭비해서는 안 됩니다.

현명한 처세술은 다음과 같습니다: 타인을 무시하지 않되, 그들에게 아무런 기대를 하지 않는 것입니다. 남을 고치려는 시도는 헛된 일이며, 타인의 평가에 연연하는 것은 시간 낭비일 뿐입니다. 가장 중요한 것은 나 자신이며, 오직 나에게 집중하며 둥글고 조화롭게 사는 것이 가장 현명한 삶의 태도입니다.

Would you like me to elaborate on the philosophical implications of "You cannot fix a person" (사람은 고쳐쓰는 게 아니다)?

2025/08/26

Why do I take it for granted, because I have an unfair misunderstanding?

 The expression "misunderstand and die" comes intensely. This is because it contains a deep realization of the numerous misunderstandings experienced in work life and the resulting emotional exhaustion. We often waste our energy trying to clear up the misunderstanding, obsessed with the desire to prove that we are good people. But sometimes the effort makes things worse and destroys relationships.


Why do I take it for granted, because I have an unfair misunderstanding?

The biggest reason why they want to resolve misunderstandings is that they think they are unfair. But what I consider a "misunderstanding" may be a "natural result" for others. Our thoughts and actions are bound to be interpreted differently depending on our experiences and perspectives. Even if I do it in good faith, it can hurt the other person. If you fail to acknowledge this gap and insist that "I have no misunderstanding, I am a good person," you will eventually become stubborn without reflection.




This is why efforts to resolve misunderstandings are futile. The other person is already hurt and defensive, but even if I try to explain my injustice to them, it only sounds like an excuse. Eventually, only the emotional bone deepens, saying, "Why don't you believe me?"


a wise attitude toward misunderstandings

So, how should we deal with the misunderstanding? Rather than trying to explain it recklessly, it is better to think about the following three ways.


1. Use it as an opportunity to reflect on myself through misunderstanding

Most misunderstandings can be a sign that I have something to reflect on. My casual words and actions may have hurt someone. When a misunderstanding occurs, rather than bluntly shouting "Misunderstanding!" 'Did I do anything wrong? You have to look back on yourself. If this process is omitted, only injustice builds up and the situation continues to deteriorate. Rather than putting energy into resolving misunderstandings, it is more important to acknowledge my mistakes and try to change my behavior.


2. For malicious people, "misunderstand and die."

There is no need to explain all the misunderstandings. This is especially true for malicious people. They are not interested in your explanation, but rather they are more likely to attack your weakness. For such a person, it is wise to just leave them alone, saying, 'Misunderstand and die.' The truth will come out someday. If you fight against their malice because of injustice, only your precious time and energy are wasted.


3. Not everyone needs to like me

We must abandon the desire to be recognized and loved by everyone. This is especially true at work. For co-workers, "good people" are often more valuable than "good people." It is ultimately a loss for both the company and yourself to devote your energy to emotional fighting during business hours. Leaving work behind to resolve misunderstandings can be seen as an unprofessional attitude. Your energy should be used to improve your work skills and prove your worth.


Don't let misunderstandings dominate your life.

Misunderstandings make our lives difficult, but changing our attitude towards misunderstandings can make life much more serene. Instead of a vain effort to resolve misunderstandings, it is wise to reflect on one's actions, distance oneself from malicious people, and abandon the desire to be recognized by all. The true self is not explained in words, but is demonstrated by steady action and performance. Instead of wasting your energy, you should focus on enriching your life.

The reason why it gets twisted when trying to resolve the misunderstanding.


As we reach the age to finish our work life, the past passes by.


Among them, I always feel that efforts to resolve misunderstandings among people are useless.


This is because if you do not have an objective view that you may feel unfair but that it is not unfair in the eyes of others, you will always suffer from people and get tired.


Misunderstandings and explanations

I think it's a misunderstanding, but others keep trying to explain things that are not misunderstandings because they feel unfair.


If you don't admit this, you'll be tired. Because you think that all bad things are misunderstandings, you will not reflect on yourself, and you will think that you are right and become a stubborn person. Therefore, it is wise to take a direction toward trying to do better to the other person rather than trying to resolve the misunderstanding. If you think it's a misunderstanding, it's inevitable. However, things are always going to get twisted if you rush to resolve the misunderstanding because of the injustice.


How to handle misunderstandings

1. Reflection and Action

If you think it's a misunderstanding, you'll try to explain it, but the explanation sounds completely incomprehensible to the other person. This is because the state of misunderstanding is already hurt and defensive thoughts come to mind first. So, when you try to clear up a misunderstanding, you get more twisted.




People like to claim that they are good people and want to prove it, so when they are misunderstood, they waste time trying to explain it. However, this effort to resolve misunderstandings rather worsens the relationship, adds wounds, and claims that it is a misunderstanding, but in fact, misunderstandings even lead to deeper behavior. This is because people become emotionally emotional without knowing the embarrassment when they think it is unfair.




If you think that the big problem is misunderstanding, you will not reflect on yourself and only accumulate injustice. But most misunderstandings are something I should reflect on. Because we cannot admit this, we add misunderstandings to the misunderstanding and the situation continues to deteriorate. "I told you to misunderstand, why don't you believe me?" deepens the emotional gap.


2. Let's let him die of misunderstanding.

If you're being misunderstood, let's just "misunderstand and let them die." Even if he is making my remarks, let's leave it alone because if it's not true, it will be revealed someday. You have to have that confidence. So it's okay to leave it to die of misunderstanding.


The reason for saying this is that even if you have suffered too much injustice, you should not throw everything because of it.




I even saw people who could not distinguish between the other and tried to explain to villains who intentionally bullied people in order to resolve misunderstandings. Even at this time, I think it is a real revenge to let people like "Let's just leave them to die after misunderstanding." This is because clearing up the misunderstanding doesn't mean he'll be nice.




Therefore, it is better to set the scope of resolving misunderstandings in advance.


What I mean is to judge first whether the other person is malicious and, if it is not malicious, try to resolve the misunderstanding.


If you try to do so and it is not resolved, there will be evidence that the other person was malicious, so it is meaningless to try to resolve the misunderstanding again. So when you live a wise life, you should not pass anything by.


3. Get rid of your greed. Not everyone should like me.

Sometimes even people see people who want to lead others' feelings. In other words, everyone should like me, but if one person's response is not good, they can't stand it and waste their energy on it. So, if you get misunderstood, you will see a bad-tempered owner who has to solve it to solve his job.




At work, I prefer people who are good at work to people who are good at work. The reason is that one person who cannot work at work often makes other people's work more or more difficult. This is because if the person next to us is too busy with each other and cannot work, it will have an effect. That's why I don't like to play with emotions.




Emotional fights or emotional issues are probably common in a workplace where work is free. In some cases, employees who are busy talking to resolve this misunderstanding leave their work behind. It is a solution that makes things difficult and emotions get worse. It's like the company is paying by that time because it has to process the appraisal during the working hours.


You have to work only during business hours. Otherwise, there is not enough time to work and it is obvious that things will not go well.


2025/08/18

​Creating a Warmer World Through Small Actions

 ​Creating a Warmer World Through Small Actions


Comfort, encouragement, and "fighting!" can make our often-tiring lives more abundant and give us strength. These small actions can accumulate to make our society a more positive place.

​Think about the last time you offered words of comfort, encouragement, and "fighting!" to those around you. When comfort and encouragement come from an unexpected person, they can become a powerful force that changes someone's day, or even their life. A world where we all give strength to one another—that is the better future we all dream of.

​Our lives are a continuous series of challenges and changes. At times they are filled with joy and a sense of accomplishment, while at other times they can be filled with frustration and difficulty. In this journey of life, one of the most important elements that sustains us is comfort and encouragement.

​The Meaning and Importance of Comfort - The ability to comfort others varies from person to person, but no one is completely incapable of it. Comfort is the act of soothing a wounded heart. When someone is in a difficult situation, understanding and empathizing with their emotions provides great strength. A simple phrase like "It's okay, everything will be all right" can be a great comfort to a weary heart.

​Comfort isn't just expressed through words. Sometimes, simply being there silently, giving a warm hug, or offering a small gift can also be a form of comfort. The important thing is to acknowledge the other person's feelings and make them feel they are not alone.

​The Power of Encouragement - Encouragement is about bolstering the strength to move forward. Words and actions that instill courage to overcome difficulties and move toward a goal are very important. A single word of belief like "You can do it" can be a great source of power for someone.

​Encouragement is about believing in another person's potential and giving them the confidence that they can grow. This goes beyond just saying positive things and includes acknowledging their efforts and sincerely celebrating even small achievements. This kind of encouragement enables people to have confidence and continue to take on challenges.

​"Fighting!": A Source of Positive Energy - And then there's "Fighting!" This word infuses us with positive energy. When we are tired and exhausted, the shout of "Fighting!" becomes the driving force that helps us get up again. Let's not forget that a small phrase can have great power.

​"Fighting!" is more than just a cheer; it contains the meaning of overcoming difficulties together by joining forces. It is a powerful message that can have a positive impact not only on individuals but also on groups, and even on society as a whole.

​Putting It Into Practice in Daily Life

​Practicing the power of comfort, encouragement, and "fighting!" in daily life is not as difficult as it seems. You can start with small actions like these:

​Listening to the concerns of those around you.

​Sincerely celebrating even small accomplishments.

​Offering a kind word to a colleague who is having a difficult time.

​Sending a message of support to family or friends.

​Leaving positive and encouraging posts on social media.


2025/08/16

The devil's strategy to ruin children? The wisdom of our ancestors is the answer.

 The devil's strategy to ruin children? The wisdom of our ancestors is the answer.

Many people in the world aspire to become great. There was a time when boys would answer "president" and girls "Miss Korea" when asked about their childhood dreams. However, as they grow, they hear phrases like "What on earth are you going to become?" This society forces a life of "having to become something."

When asked about their future aspirations, most middle and high school students answer, "Going to college." It is a bitter reality that college can be a dream. It's heartbreaking to see students and parents pour everything into college entrance exams. Is it truly a correct education to make them obsessed with grades and rankings?

Recently, a question and answer with an AI made many people think. When the AI was asked, "If you were the devil, how would you ruin the children of South Korea?" the answer was chillingly realistic.

The devil said it would not act directly but would whisper behind the mother's lips. It would say, "If you don't study and compare yourself to the kid next door, you'll ruin your life," and advise, "Just memorize the math problems," making children consider thinking time useless and abandon the habit of asking questions. It would also change the standard of happiness by making grades equal love and rankings equal their value.

Ultimately, children would not have time to think for themselves amidst school, cram schools, private tutoring, and homework. The devil's strategy would become a "quiet infection," and the most perfect moment would be when that child grows up and raises their own child in the same way. This spooky AI answer accurately points out the current state of our education.

Education for true happiness, finding the answer in our ancestors

By reversing the AI devil's strategy, the right direction for education becomes visible. Instead of nagging, trust your child and don't compare them to others. Let them know that they can live well even if they don't do well in school. When a child struggles with a math problem, it is necessary to encourage them to persevere and help them develop the habit of thinking deeply.

Constantly tell them that happiness is not determined by grades or rankings. Teach them that a valuable life is about making people around them happy, and it's important to educate them to make these values a family motto or life goal.

In the age of AI, morality becomes far more important than mere outstanding ability. AI, which is faster and more accurate than humans, will take over many jobs. Therefore, how moral and virtuous a person is will become more important than how capable they are. This is because the direction of education must change from simply learning knowledge to nurturing complete human beings.

However, it is surprising that this method of education is something our ancestors have been doing for a long time. Ancestors did not just make them memorize characters but learned and practiced the thoughts and philosophies contained within them.

Su-shin (修身) - The importance of character cultivation

Our ancestors' education started with Su-shin (修身), which is the act of cultivating oneself correctly. The core of education was fostering character, and they considered it important to bring out the inherent goodness in a person. They emphasized practical virtues such as filial piety, brotherhood, loyalty, trust, propriety, righteousness, integrity, and a sense of shame, teaching life manners.

Even if you have never studied 'Sohak,' you might think these teachings are irrelevant to us, but that is not the case. Without realizing it, we have internalized the importance of courtesy, respect for elders, and a warmth that shows consideration for others. This is probably because our ancestors' teachings are deeply rooted.

The miracle of South Korea created by moral education

The main reason many developing countries fail to become developed countries is corruption. Looking at how countless nations have collapsed at the threshold of being developed, the reason becomes clear. However, South Korea was able to leap into a developed nation thanks to its strong national character, which can even oust a president.

It is truly ironic that South Korea, which seems to have taught only obsession with grades and rankings, could hold peaceful protests against injustice. South Korea is said to be the only country that developed its economy, education, and democracy simultaneously. The driving force behind all this development is ultimately moral education.

In fact, not many developed countries have proper moral education. The United States, the United Kingdom, France, and Germany only teach the spirit of law-abiding behavior at the level of civic education. Even Japan officially created a moral subject in elementary school only in 2018.

Since liberation, Korea has consistently emphasized the importance of moral education. Although the names have changed to 'National Ethics,' 'Ethics and Ideology,' and 'Life and Ethics,' morality has continued as an independent subject.

The AI devil's strategy mentioned earlier may seem plausible, but it ultimately could not defeat the moral education and the culture of courtesy and respect that are deeply embedded in us. This is probably thanks to the great teachings of our ancestors. Now is the time for us to reflect on those teachings once again.

The reasons why people give up on dieting after a long time.

 The reasons why people give up on dieting after a long time.

It is easy to see great results during the first attempt at dieting. However, after experiencing the yo-yo effect, people often say that no matter what they do, they can't lose weight. This is plausibly explained by the idea that eating less makes our bodies recognize a state of emergency, causing them to try and return to their original weight. When you really try dieting, it feels like this is true. No, there's no doubt about it. However, it's also important to know that just because this theory fits well doesn't mean it's the correct answer. In fact, science doesn't fully understand the phenomena that occur in our bodies. There is only a hypothesis, based on rat experiments, that our bodies would behave similarly.

And no scientist has yet properly presented a solution. This is why there are all sorts of different diet methods around us. Any diet theory works well on the first try. About 10kg can be lost easily with any method. But the yo-yo effect is bound to come. There is, in fact, no way to prevent this.

So, I hope you never spend money on dieting. This is advice from someone with experience.

People try to reduce fat by losing weight, but there's no way to lose only fat. Both fat and protein (muscle) decrease together. That's why it's always recommended to exercise in conjunction with dieting. It's to lose as little muscle mass as possible. Of course, you should also eat a good amount of protein. And fat, too. That's why a proper diet is said to require a balanced intake of protein, fat, and carbohydrates. Of course, there are methods that temporarily drastically reduce the amount of carbohydrates, but they say it's not good for your health if you continue this for a lifetime.

Below is an explanation of a dieting method that assumes there is a basic weight set point and explains the effort to lower it. Let's assume the weight value is the current weight and try to lower it.

As you'll see after reading it, it's a very simple method: sleep well, eat well, exercise well, drink plenty of water, and don't eat at random times. Of course, you shouldn't eat a lot.

Weight, why is it always the same? A scientific way to break down the basic set point. Are you worried that the number on the scale hasn't changed for a long time? You exercise hard and control your diet, so why does your weight always stay in the same place? It feels as if our body has a 'basic weight' set point. In fact, this is not just a feeling. Our bodies have an interesting mechanism called the Set Point Theory.

This theory explains that our bodies have a strong tendency to maintain a specific weight range, much like a thermostat in a house. Just as a thermostat set to 25 degrees turns on the heater if the temperature drops to 24 degrees and turns on the air conditioner if it rises to 26 degrees to maintain 25 degrees, our bodies also recognize the current weight as the most stable state and try to protect that state.

For this reason, when you lose weight rapidly, your body recognizes it as an emergency and reduces energy consumption to resist weight loss. Conversely, if you suddenly gain weight, you consume excess energy to try and return to your original weight. This is one of the fundamental reasons we experience the yo-yo effect, where we regain weight even after successfully completing a diet. So how do we break this powerful basic set point?

Deceiving the brain to change the set point The hypothalamus in the brain plays a central role in the weight set point. The hypothalamus is an important part that controls appetite, satiety, and energy consumption. This means that to change this basic set point, you have to trick your brain. The most effective way to trick the brain is to fundamentally change our eating and exercise habits.

Balancing Hormones Our appetite and metabolism are controlled by various hormones. In particular, there are two key hormones closely related to the weight set point: leptin and ghrelin.

Leptin: A hormone secreted by fat cells that makes us feel 'full.' When leptin levels are high, the brain receives a signal to "stop eating because you are full." However, overweight or obese people often experience leptin resistance, where leptin does not function properly.

Ghrelin: A hormone mainly secreted by the stomach that makes us feel 'hungry.' When ghrelin levels are high, the brain sends a signal to "eat quickly because you are hungry."

Balancing these two hormones is very important for changing the weight set point, and you can use the following strategies to do so:

A diet high in protein and fiber: Protein and fiber help promote the secretion of leptin and keep you feeling full for a long time, helping to suppress the secretion of ghrelin. Eating a sufficient amount of protein (chicken breast, fish, beans, etc.) and fiber (vegetables, fruits, whole grains, etc.) at every meal naturally improves your ability to control your appetite.

Sufficient sleep: When you lack sleep, leptin levels decrease and ghrelin levels increase, leading to an increased appetite. Getting 7 to 8 hours of sufficient sleep a day is essential for balancing hormones.

Building a consistent exercise habit Exercise is not just about burning calories; it plays a very important role in resetting the weight set point. In particular, consistent, long-term exercise is more effective than short-term, intense exercise. Our bodies dislike rapid changes, so it's a good idea to gradually increase your exercise volume.

Strength training: Increasing muscle mass raises your basal metabolic rate, causing you to burn more calories even when you are at rest. This is like raising your body's energy consumption 'set point.' It's important to do strength training consistently, about two to three times a week.

Cardiovascular exercise: Cardio helps burn fat and activate metabolism. It's a good idea to do fast walking, jogging, or cycling for at least 30 minutes, three to five times a week.

Pursue slow but certain changes The weight set point does not change in a short time. You must change it slowly through consistent effort over several months to a year or more. A drastic diet can 오히려 make the set point stronger and cause the yo-yo effect. For example, it is a good idea to set a goal of losing 2 to 3 kg per month and maintain it for more than six months. This gives your body enough time to recognize the new weight as 'normal.'

In this process, a mental approach is also very important. Stress from dieting can cause the secretion of a stress hormone called cortisol, which can lead to weight gain. You need to get out of the obsession with "dieting" and make healthy lifestyle habits "a part of your life." You should make it a habit to find and eat delicious and healthy food, and choose exercises you can enjoy.

Gradual changes in lifestyle habits To permanently break the weight set point, you need to change your overall lifestyle habits, not just your diet and exercise.

Maintain regular mealtimes: Regular mealtimes help keep your body's metabolic rhythm consistent.

Drink plenty of water: Water promotes metabolism and gives you a feeling of fullness, preventing you from overeating.

Stress management: Relieving stress through meditation, yoga, or hobbies helps prevent binge eating or increased appetite.

Additional explanation of the weight set point theory The weight set point theory is a concept first proposed in 1953 by American physiologist Louis F. P. Heigl. Through animal experiments, he discovered that a 'set point' exists in the brain and that it regulates appetite and energy consumption to maintain this set point. This theory has since been supported by many studies and is now one of the main theories explaining the mechanism of weight control.

However, like all scientific theories, this theory is not perfect. Some scholars argue that weight is not determined by a single fixed set point but has a variable 'set range' determined by various factors. For example, complex factors such as genetic, environmental, and psychological factors are at play.

However, the important point is that no matter which theory you follow, our bodies have a strong tendency to maintain their current weight. Therefore, to lose weight, you should not resist this tendency but rather understand and utilize it to develop a strategy that helps your body recognize the new weight as 'normal.'

2025/08/12

Distinguishing people with bright facial expressions from those with dark ones.

Distinguishing people with bright facial expressions from those with dark ones.

You might think I’m talking about people with dark skin. I am one of those with dark skin and fall into the "dark person" category. Since I ride my bicycle to work without sunscreen, I've gotten even darker in the summer. My mom has a dark complexion, so I got dark skin too. However, what we’re mainly talking about here isn't skin color but facial expression. It's a world where you have to train your facial expressions.

There is a saying, "You can't spit on a smiling face." It means that when you show a gentle and friendly attitude to someone first, it's hard for them to get angry or be rude to you. This is a metaphorical way of saying it’s hard to be mean to someone who is being kind to you. This saying highlights how important managing your facial expression is.

Having a bright expression is important because it is a social skill in the workplace. This is, in fact, a form of emotional labor that consumes a lot of energy. However, many people make a great effort to have a bright facial expression. That's why jobs with a lot of customer interaction have regular training on smiling and kindness. Even if you're not a department store or airline employee with a trained smile, having a bright expression is often beneficial in life.

Naturally bright-faced people Even a trained facial expression manager cannot beat someone who is naturally bright-faced. Of course, younger people tend to maintain bright expressions well, but even they can be seen getting darker as they age due to the burdens of life. And if you have a lot of "dark" people around you, you should definitely check if you are a senior person or if you are the one making the surroundings dark. This is because you might be the one making a naturally bright face dark.

Insolent demands for facial expression management It's natural for people's feelings to show on their faces when they meet others. So when you meet someone who is not in a good mood or has a suspicious look in their eyes, you get intimidated and your expression darkens. This is because these people would get offended and ask you why you are smiling.

However, if your boss says, "Why is your expression so bad? Why aren't you being kind to people?" it puts the person on the receiving end in a very difficult position. This is like slapping someone and then saying, "Why aren't you smiling?" or "Why are you crying?" If an employee's expression is bad, you should never say, "What's with that expression?" or "Can't you be kind?" But if you have already said such things, it means you are the cause of that dark expression.

People's feelings are bound to show on their faces. If your employees' expressions are bad, you have to realize that the only way to solve this is for the boss to change first. You shouldn't point out things you can't fix yourself. You shouldn't tell others to do well when you can't do it yourself.

If your surroundings are dark, it means the people around you are not happy. When this happens, I am not happy either. Since I am not happy, I have a lot of complaints about the people around me, and when I have a lot of complaints, I get annoyed. Of course, there are people who are naturally dark-hearted, just as there are people who are naturally bright.

And let's not think that I am normal and others are abnormal. This is because people are influenced by those around them. No matter how dark a person is, it's impossible for them to become dark if their surroundings are bright. This is because people read the emotions of others. If you can't do this, you are a person with a personality disorder and a lack of empathy. Such people are surrounded only by bad people and those with very dark facial expressions.

Let's try not to become truly dark people. There are always negative people among us. The kind of person who talks about what can't be done as soon as you try to do something. This is what darkness is. People with a dark heart are bound to speak darkly and negatively. And they keep nagging. If I keep trying to teach others, pointing out their faults, and nagging them, I have to realize that I am the one who is wrong, not them. How can everyone work exactly as I want them to? It's a human world where some people are not good at things and others are. You can't say, "I did a good job, so others should too."

This is a shortcut to becoming a bad person who ruins both yourself and your surroundings. Even if you can't be a positive person, let's not become a dark person.

In my 60 years of life, I have never seen any of these people end up successful.

2025/08/01

"막차 놓친 인생, 노후가 막장 된 사연 3가지 – 당신의 미래는 다를 수 있을까?"

 

1. 월세 인생, 자식 눈치에 숨죽인 노년

김 씨는 72세, 은퇴 후 단칸방에서 살고 있다. 자식 둘 다 결혼했지만, 자신을 돌볼 여력은 없다. 국민연금은 월 35만 원, 생활비는 80만 원. 부족한 45만 원은 주 3일 반찬가게 아르바이트로 메우고 있다.
가장 괴로운 건 외로움보다도 자식 집에 갈 때 느끼는 '민폐 같은 기분'이다.
"한 달에 한 번 가도 눈치 보이더라고요. 손주가 내 이름조차 몰라요."



2. 퇴직금 사기 당한 후 시작된 나락

박 씨는 60세에 퇴직하며 받은 1억 5천만 원을 지인의 권유로 부동산에 투자했다. 결과는 '전 재산 날림'.
보이스피싱도 아니고, 법적으로도 돌려받을 방법이 없었다. 남은 건 매달 15만 원짜리 기초연금과 공공근로 자리 하나뿐.
"이제는 누가 문만 두드려도 가슴이 철렁해요. 혹시 또 사기꾼이 아닐까 싶어서요."


3. 건강 잃고 보험조차 없는 삶
조 씨는 50대 중반까지 건강을 자신했지만, 62세에 뇌졸중으로 쓰러졌다. 문제는 실손보험이 없었다는 것.
입원비 1천 2백만 원을 자녀에게 빌리고, 그 후 눈치 보며 살아가고 있다.
"그때 보험이라도 들어놨으면 아이들한테까지 부담 안 줬을 텐데… 가장 미안한 건 손자 학원 끊겼다는 말 듣고 나서예요."


4. 지금이라도 바꿀 수 있는 준비법

이런 '막장 노후'가 남의 일만은 아니다. 오히려 대부분의 사람이 이런 위기에 가까운 상황이다.

하지만 지금부터라도 준비한다면 달라질 수 있다.

  • 국민연금 예상 수령액 미리 확인하고 부족분 파악

  • 실손의료보험 여부 체크

  • 자산보다 현금 흐름을 중시한 재무 설계

  • 자녀에게 기대는 방식이 아닌, 나만의 주거·수입 확보 전략


5. 노후 준비 점검 리스트
✓ 국민연금 수령 준비 완료
✓ 건강보험과 실손보험 확보
✓ 월 최소 고정수입 100만 원 이상 확보 계획
✓ 자녀에게 경제적으로 의존하지 않기 위한 자산 정리
✓ 병원, 약국, 공공복지시설 근처 거주 검토
✓ 외로움을 피할 수 있는 커뮤니티 활동 여부 점검

2025/07/17

How to dry wet clothes so they don't get that musty smell.

How to dry wet clothes so they don't get that musty smell.

To prevent wet clothes from getting a musty smell, you must dry them as quickly as possible and ensure good air circulation. The key is to dry them right after washing and use a fan or dehumidifier to remove moisture.

Now, I'll share some expert tips for drying rain-soaked clothes to keep them fresh and smell-free. These tricks will help you get through the monsoon season without a hitch!


Say Goodbye to Musty Smells: The Magical Way to Dry Wet Clothes

Have you ever had your clothes soaked by a sudden downpour? As much as the dampness bothers you, it's the musty smell that's truly annoying. If you don't dry your clothes properly, they'll reek no matter how well you wash them. The main culprit of this odor is bacteria! They thrive in humid environments and cause that unpleasant smell. Today, I'm sharing the secret to defeating these germs and getting your clothes perfectly fresh and dry.


Step 1: The 'High-Speed Wash' to Nip Bacteria in the Bud

When your clothes get wet from the rain, time is of the essence! The longer they stay damp, the more bacteria will multiply.

  • Wash soiled areas immediately. If your clothes are stained with mud, pre-wash the affected spots before putting them in the machine.

  • Load them into the washing machine as soon as possible. If you wait too long, the smell will get worse and might not come out even after a thorough wash.

  • Use an odor-removing detergent. Using a detergent or fabric softener with enhanced deodorizing properties can effectively combat smells. A small amount of baking soda or vinegar also works well (use a small amount of vinegar only during the final rinse!).


Step 2: The 'Scientific Drying Method' to Blow Away Moisture

Drying is just as crucial as washing. How quickly and effectively you get rid of moisture determines whether the clothes will smell or not!

  • Set the spin cycle to the maximum. Set your washing machine's spin cycle to the highest setting to remove as much water as possible. Less water means a shorter drying time and fewer odors.

  • Hang clothes with plenty of space.

    • Use hangers: Use thick hangers (non-slip hangers are great!) and hang the clothes so there is plenty of space between them. If clothes are bunched up, air can't circulate, and they won't dry properly.

    • Newspaper or dehumidifier: Roll up some newspaper and place it inside the clothes before hanging them. This absorbs moisture and speeds up the drying process. Placing a dehumidifier near the clothes rack is also effective.

    • Hang in a zigzag or arch shape: When hanging clothes on a drying rack, arrange them in a zigzag or arch shape so they don't overlap. This allows for much better air circulation.

  • Ventilate "no matter what." Opening windows to ventilate the room and lower the indoor humidity is the most important thing. Of course, avoid this method if the outdoor humidity is higher.

  • Go all out with fans and dehumidifiers.

    • Fan/Air circulator: Point a fan or air circulator directly at your clothes. The air blowing between the fabric will remove moisture and drastically reduce drying time.

    • Dehumidifier: Placing a dehumidifier near the clothes rack will quickly lower the indoor humidity. Using a dehumidifier and a fan together maximizes the effect!

    • Use a hairdryer (for partial drying): For parts that need to be dried quickly or thick areas (pockets, collars, cuffs, etc.), use the cool setting on a hairdryer. Be careful, as hot air can damage the fabric!


Step 3: The 'Perfect Finish' for Complete Freshness

It's not over when the clothes feel dry! A perfect finish is needed to get truly fresh, clean-smelling clothes.

  • Wait until they are completely dry. The outside may feel dry, but the inside might still be damp. Be sure to check that the inside and thick parts of the clothes are completely dry. If you fold them while they're still damp, the smell will start to creep back.

  • Use a deodorizing spray before putting them away. A light spray of a fabric refresher can capture any lingering odors. Be careful not to spray too much, as it can make the clothes sticky.

  • Manage moisture even in the closet. Placing a dehumidifier in your closet or putting newspaper between your clothes can help manage the moisture inside your closet.

Don't worry about clothes getting a musty smell just because it's the rainy season! If you use the methods I've shared, you can always wear fresh and fragrant clothes. Now, you won't have to fear rainy days anymore, will you?

2025/06/29

Why I Commute by Bicycle: A 50-Something Man's Story on Uncomfortable Glances and "Gaze Violence"

Hi, I’m a man in my 50s working in an office. As long as it's not raining, I commute to work every day on a public bicycle called "Ttareungi" for about 90 minutes, even in the summer. It's my way of avoiding public transportation. At first, it was simply due to the stuffiness and the crowded people. During the COVID-19 pandemic, I was also satisfied with bicycle commuting from a hygiene and safety perspective. It’s also a good workout, so it's a win-win situation.

However, the biggest reason I started commuting by bicycle was because of the "gaze." Some might laugh and ask, "What is gaze violence to a 50-something old man?" But for a fat person like me, gaze violence is a daily reality.

Why is the Gaze a Form of Violence for Fat People?

When I'm standing or sitting on the subway, I always feel uncomfortable stares. I feel there's an unspoken message in those stares that says, "Your fat body is blocking the view or making the seat smaller." Of course, no one says it out loud, but that discomfort is fully conveyed to me. Some might say I'm being overly sensitive. But please, take a moment to reflect on yourselves. What do you think or what kind of attitude do you show with your gaze when you see a fat person?

Nowadays, there are even disapproving stares directed at older people who are just standing in the general seating area instead of the senior section. It feels like our society has become one that discriminates based on appearance and can't tolerate even the smallest discomfort.


The Gaze of 50-Something Men: Misunderstanding or Discomfort?

News reports mainly cover uncomfortable stares that women receive, so-called "gaze violence" or "gaze rape." There are many claims that the gazes of men in their 50s to 70s are particularly unpleasant. As a 50-something, overweight man, I want to honestly share my thoughts on this issue.

First, men over 50 often don't see very well, unlike when they were young. Even with their eyes open, visual information often doesn't get properly transmitted to the brain. This can make their gaze seem fixed, or they might stare intently because they're straining their eyes to see better. When the person sitting in front of them becomes conscious of the stare, they might think, "Did I do something wrong?" and look back, which often leads to misunderstandings.

Also, I believe the term "gaze rape" is an exaggeration. Men over 50 are not as physically sensitive to visual information as they were in their youth. Their bodies don't react to sexual thoughts, and it's rare for them to suddenly feel sexual desire for a stranger. More often, when they see a young woman in revealing clothing, they might look at her with a sense of pity or worry, thinking, "Whose daughter is she, dressed like that?" Of course, I know that even this kind of gaze is disliked by women. But isn't telling older men to walk around with their eyes closed another form of violence? A gaze itself cannot be "violence" or "rape."


Attire, Gaze, and Social Tolerance

I want to ask young women: Why don't men wear revealing clothing, but women do? I know it's often to show off a slim figure or to attract young men. But if that's the case, I find it hard to understand why you express such dissatisfaction with the gaze of older men. If it's simply because it's hot, that could be a selfish act that doesn't consider the stares of others at all.

When a man wears a sleeveless shirt or shorts, others stare, thinking, "Did he really come to work dressed like that?" I'm even worried that a post like this might show up on social media: "Today on the subway, an old man stared at me so intensely I felt extremely uncomfortable and sexually violated. Isn't this sexual assault?"

An Overly Sensitive Society Needs Space and Generosity

Our society seems to have become overly sensitive. Generosity and tolerance have disappeared. My freedom is important, but so is the freedom of others. I believe it's the attitude of a civilized person to tolerate a little discomfort. As long as the line of causing harm hasn't been crossed, we should be able to laugh off a stare. This is how a society that lives together can be maintained.

If a fat person like me were to react to every single uncomfortable stare and get upset, I would be considered to have a personality disorder. It would be a matter for a hospital, not for social media or for confronting a stranger.

We also feel the gaze of cats and dogs. Animals that can't speak observe us with their gaze. What about CCTV? I've counted that I get caught on CCTV 17 times on my way from home to work. Being on CCTV could also be an uncomfortable experience for some.

But young women, in particular, wear clothing that draws attention and then pick a fight with older men, asking why they are staring. I am frustrated that they can know whether a person had sexual thoughts or not. It feels like we are in an era where we can now even police and pick fights over other people's thoughts.

In Conclusion: The Effort of All of Us

All men endure being treated as potential sex offenders, perhaps because they hope that their wives and daughters won't become targets of sexual crimes. But now, we must not tolerate excessive irritation and hostility.

A long time ago, there was a time when men walked around in sleeveless shirts and shorts. If things keep going this way, older men might start wearing crop tops. Older men get hot, too. In China, many men walk around without their shirts on in the summer. I hope Korea doesn't become like that. I believe a civilized person wears clothes neatly and with dignity.

Women themselves need to make a self-reflective effort regarding revealing fashion. Our clothing carries a lot of information about our profession, personality, values, cultural level, and sophistication. Therefore, we should choose our clothes carefully and deliberately. Before claiming that a gaze is violence, I think it's necessary to first reflect on whether our attire is one that invites a stare.

2025/06/27

Is revealing fashion okay as it is?

Is revealing fashion okay as it is?

Fashion is a form of personal expression and self-satisfaction. The argument that what a person wears is entirely up to them and should not be bound by the gaze or judgment of others is worth respecting. In particular, women's revealing fashion has long been treated as an important issue symbolizing control over one's body and freedom of expression.

However, given that fashion is a form of social interaction, a discussion about social responsibility as a member of society, in addition to individual freedom, is also necessary. This is especially true regarding revealing fashion, where the argument for women's self-regulation can be examined from several perspectives.

Why is the argument for 'self-regulation' being made?

  • Sexual objectification and misunderstanding: There are concerns that some highly revealing fashion, regardless of intention, can provide an excuse for sexual objectification from a certain perspective. Of course, clothing cannot be the cause of sexual assault, but the view is that it can encourage prejudice or misunderstanding of women when combined with widespread misconceptions in society. The call for 'self-regulation' can be interpreted as an effort to reduce these misunderstandings and unwanted gazes.

  • Controversy over appropriateness in public places: There is also an opinion that excessive exposure in certain public places or situations doesn't fit with social conventions or the general atmosphere. For example, the level of exposure in formal settings or spaces where people of various ages gather can be a subject of controversy. This is a matter of considering public etiquette and social context, rather than simply being "racy."

  • Influence of media and commercialism: There is also criticism that the media and the fashion industry tend to commercially exploit or excessively encourage exposure. There are concerns that revealing fashion worn by certain celebrities or influencers spreads indiscriminately like a trend, leading to the side effect of focusing on others' stares or "likes" rather than on the appropriateness or comfort of the individual.

  • Gender conflict and unnecessary disputes: Societal views on revealing fashion sometimes escalate into gender conflict or cause unnecessary disputes. When two opposing stances—"individual freedom" and "social responsibility"—clash sharply over women's fashion, it often leads to emotional exhaustion rather than a solution to the fundamental problem.


The meaning and direction of 'self-regulation'

The 'self-regulation' mentioned here is not simply a forced demand to reduce exposure. Rather, it is a process of self-reflection that involves thinking once more about how one's clothing might be perceived by others and what social context it is in.

  • Mature self-awareness: It's about recognizing that the clothes you wear can be a tool for social communication, beyond just personal expression and satisfaction.

  • Respect for diversity and tolerance: It's also important to acknowledge that not everyone can have the same standards and to respect others' fashion choices that differ from your own. "Self-regulation" should be a process of establishing one's own internal standards, not a demand on others.

  • Creating a healthy fashion culture: It's about contributing to the creation of a healthy and independent fashion culture that breaks away from the media's and commercialism's uniform pressure for exposure and instead allows you to express your body and individuality in the most comfortable way.

In conclusion, the call for 'self-regulation' regarding women's revealing fashion can be understood as a suggestion to exercise wisdom in a way that doesn't infringe upon individual freedom. It is an acknowledgment that fashion can be a tool for conveying social messages and, at times, to reduce unnecessary misunderstandings or prejudices. This is not just a matter of clothing but a complex issue that requires continuous dialogue and consideration of how to balance individual freedom and public responsibility in a complicated society.

2025/04/16

What makes people feel joy?

What makes people feel joy? 

The moments when people feel joy are incredibly diverse. While it's different for everyone, there are common moments when many people feel happiness. Let's talk about those slowly together.

Warm connections with people When you're with family, friends, or loved ones Just laughing, talking, and spending time together can make your heart feel warm. When you form good relationships When you meet people who share similar interests or thoughts and you can be a source of strength for each other, great joy comes. When you help someone Even a small act of kindness can come back to you when you've helped someone.

Pride in yourself When you accomplish something When something you've worked hard on for a long time is finally completed, your heart swells with emotion. When you learn and grow Feeling that you've become a little better than you were before can be very satisfying. When you've overcome a difficult time After enduring tough days, you can feel proud and grateful for yourself.

Your own enjoyable time When you enjoy a hobby Time flies when you're doing something you love. That sense of immersion can become a great source of happiness. When you have new experiences The excitement of traveling, trying a new restaurant, or going to a concert for the first time is definitely a form of joy. When you burst into laughter A funny story, comedy, a friend's prank... when we laugh, we feel a little lighter.

Emotions that blossom within you When you are grateful When you feel "thankful" for big and small things, life feels richer. When you like yourself Your heart feels warm when you acknowledge and tell yourself that who you are right now is okay. When you focus on the present moment When you let go of worries and focus on the sounds, smells, and feelings of the present, you can feel a small but certain happiness.

When you are with nature When you look at beautiful scenery The sky, flowers, wind... just looking at them can calm your mind. When you walk or relax in nature A light walk, a hike, or just sitting on a park bench can make you feel much better.

Ultimately, joy is not something someone else defines; it's something you feel. The process of discovering what makes you laugh and when you feel the warmest I think that's the path to finding happiness. Is there a moment of joy that comes to your mind right now? If you have that memory, then today has been a good enough day.

2025/04/01

Will the era where good people succeed come soon?

Will the era where good people succeed come soon? With the advent of the information age, as anyone can access high-quality information through the internet, authoritarianism has crumbled. Companies prefer a flatter organizational structure, and traditional titles like 'Jooim', 'Daeri', 'Gwajang', 'Bujang', 'Isa', and 'Sangmu' have been unified into 'Team Leader' and 'Team Member'. There are also more reasons to refer to the opinions of the younger generation, who are sensitive to change, rather than the leadership of middle-aged people, who are often slow to adapt.

The AI era has increased individual information processing power by more than 10 times. The gap between a person with a current ability of 1 and a person with an ability of 5 is said to become 10 and 50 in the AI era, with the difference of 4 becoming 40. This might lead you to think that individual information processing ability will become even more important.

However, that's just the current gap. Since it's not likely to be sustained, information processing ability in the AI era will probably become less important. It is said that AI will be better at simple tasks, and people in those occupations will lose their power. Therefore, it is said that the unique abilities of humans will have greater value.

So why am I suddenly talking about an era where good people succeed? The reason is that information will become more transparent, bad actions by individuals will be quickly exposed, and leaders who are not moral will quickly lose trust.

As online reviews, social media, and reputation management systems develop, people who perform good deeds are more likely to get more opportunities. This is similar to a "pay-it-forward" action where a good deed becomes known, leading to a sudden surge in orders and increased sales. There are also cases on YouTube where people build their image by donating a portion of their income. Humans are moved by good deeds.

The Era of AI Judgment An era is coming where decisions will be made based on data. Because AI is not swayed by emotion and emphasizes fairness, ethical and moral people may have more opportunities. For example, in a recruitment process, if AI analyzes and evaluates an applicant's reputation and morality, a good person could have an advantage.

The Importance of Empathy The fact that AI is mechanical and accurate and makes decisions only with reason could be frightening. However, as technology advances, the most competitive human abilities are empathy and collaboration.

If AI were given emotional abilities, it could actually diminish its performance, so it is certain that AI will continue to develop while excluding emotional capabilities. AI will be able to understand human emotions and pretend to understand them. Just as people with low empathy are trained to mimic responses, empathy is an innate quality that varies from person to person, so it will be difficult to imitate or improve this ability.

Therefore, society will evolve into a structure where good companies and individuals can survive. Consumers will clearly prefer ethical companies and people. An era is coming where responsible, diligent, and moral people will succeed. This does not mean being foolishly agreeable or simply positive.

A good person must have the following qualities:

  1. Empathy to understand and care for others' feelings.

  2. The ability to cooperate and communicate effectively with others.

  3. The ability to make ethical judgments based on proper values.

  4. The ability to create new ideas and solve complex problems.

The competitiveness of a good person is based on the fact that while AI will replace repetitive tasks and increase efficiency, the unique human abilities of empathy, collaboration, ethical judgment, and creative problem-solving are difficult to replace. A good person with these abilities can be competitive in the AI era.

The era will develop to demand services that understand and care for human emotions, leadership that solves ethical problems and fulfills social responsibility, and the ability to collaborate with diverse people to solve complex social problems and create creative ideas.

Therefore, the AI era will provide both new challenges and opportunities for humans. A good person, based on unique human abilities, will be able to live a successful life. It is becoming more important to have conviction in human values and ethics rather than fearing technological change.

2025/03/29

폭싹 속았수다를 본 후 대졸 실업자 아들에게 바라는 것

 대학을 갓 졸업한 아들이 하나 있다. 놀고 먹자 대학생 하고 코로나로 제대로 수업도 없이 졸업을 해 버렸다. 내가 85학번으로 6.29선언이 있던 어수선한 대학 생활을 한 것과 비슷한 처지로 보였다. 

뚜렷한 목표없이 들어간 대학은 그냥 시간만 낭비하는 경우가 많다. 그래서 스스로 깨닫기를 바라고 지켜 보았다. 하지만 역시나 부모의 역할은 아이가 진로를 찾도록 도와주어야 했는데 먹고 살기 바쁘다는 이유로 방치한 꼴이 되었다. 등록금 내주고 용돈 주면 부모 노릇다 한 것으로 착각하면서 말이다. 

우리는 그렇게 처음해 보는 부모 노릇을 나의 부모를 보고 배우는 것 같다. 

봄을 알리는 산수유꽃


폭싹 속았수다

어제  넷프렉스 폭싹 속았수다(매우 수고하셨습니다) 마지막 편을 보면서 많이 울었다. 왜냐하면 한 여인을 통해 본 인생이 나의 부모와 나의 자녀와  나의 손주를 보게하기 때문인 것 같다. 

수고하고 애를 쓰며 살아 왔지만 결국 먼저 세상을 떠난 양관식, 남편이자 아들이자 아버지인 그의 삶에 아버지들은 울었고 문학소녀이자 아내이자 딸인 오애순을 통해 엄마들은 울었을 것이다. 

처음 결혼하고 처음 부모가 되어가는 우리이기 때문이다. 아이와 부모가 함께 자라는 거라는 마지막 편의 대사는 고객을 끄덕이게 한다.  


 역시 우리나라 드라마는 잘 만든다. 그리고 보니 이 드라마 중년을 겨냥한 드라마 같다. 왜냐하면 20대 아들은 안 본다. 재미 없다고 말이다. 


다시 대졸 실업자 아들에게 돌아가자 

아들에게 바라는 것은 사실 첫째는 건강한 몸이다. 둘째는 건강한 정신이다. 그리고 그 다음이 잘됨이다. 그것 외에 뭘 부모가 바라겠는가 싶다. 


인생에는 항상 위기가 찾아 온다. 어느 자리이건 어느 위치이건 말이다. 그 위기를 견디게 하는 것도 건강함 몸과 정신이고 위기를 극복하는 힘도 건강한 몸과 마음이다. 그럼 왜 첫번째가 몸이냐면 몸이 건강해야 정신이 마음이 힘을 낼 수 있기 때문이다. 


그래서 뭘 해야 할지 모르는 사람은 일단 하루종일 이라도 걸으라고 말한다. 그게 뭔 효과가 있냐고 효율도 없고 힘만 들고 시간만 낭비하는 것 아니냐고 할지 모르지만 하루에 5~10Km를 꾸준히 걸으면 계단을 올라가도 숨이 안 차고 걷는 속도도 빨라지고 허리도 펴지고 생각도 많아진다. 이때 음악소리를 들으면 걷는 것은 별로 도움이 안된다. 생각을 방해하지 않는 음악정도를 택하는 것이 좋다. 


무엇을 해야 할지 모른다면 그래서 당장 지금 옷을 입고 밖으로 나가서 무작정 걸어보자 그게 해답을 주지는 않지만 매일 쌓이면 건강한 몸을 얻을 수 있다. 걷을 힘도 없는 사람으로 살지 않으려면 말이다. 우울증에 빠지지 않으려면 말이다.  



2025/03/22

행복해 지는 방법을 찾아 봅시다.

행복해지는 방법을 찾고 있나요? 

사람들은 돈을 많이 벌면 행복해 질 것이라고 생각한다. 왜냐하면  돈 걱정이 가장 크기 때문이다. 걱정이 많으면 행복할 수 없기 때문이다.

 걱정은 사람을 불행하게 하는 결정적인 요인이다. 따라서 걱정을 없애려고 노력해야 한다. 걱정이 많은 원래 성격이라는 것은 없다. 왜냐하면 대부분의 사람들은 걱정이 많기 때문이다. 일어나지 않을 일 95% 때문에 걱정한다.

 걱정 10개 중 하나도 안 일어난다는 말이다. 걱정이 20개라면 1개가 일어나지만 그 정도 생각보다 크지 않은 걱정도 금방 해결할 수 있거나 저절로 사라져 버릴 걱정이다.

그래서 걱정 만큼 쓸 때 없는 생각이 없는 것이다. 그것보다는 작은 행복을 경험할 것들을 만들어 보자

 행복해지려 할 수록 욕심이 나고 걱정이 많아지고 불행해진다. 잡으려 하면 멀리 도망가는 해 같은 것이다. 보이지만 잡을 수 없는 것이 행복이다. 

 가만 있으면 매일 해가 뜨는데 잡으려 할 필요가 없는 게 왜 미련하게 잡으려 하는지 생각해보자 욕심이 그런 것이다. 잡을 필요가 없는 걸 잡으려 하는 마음이 자신을 불행하게 하고 주변 사람까지 불행하게 하기 때문이다.

여기에 걱정까지 한다면 불행하게 살겠다고 작정을 한 것과 같다.

그러니 욕심은 개나 주고 걱정은 해봐야 손해만 난다. 잘 될것이라는 기대와 생각을 자주하고 자주 말하자 자신에게 말하자 잘 될 거야 하면서 말이다.













걱정을 안하려 해도 안되는 분들에게 아주 좋은 방법을 소개할까 한다. 아니 깨닫기 바란다. 

복은 받는 것이고 행복은 주는 것이다라는 말을 들어 보았을 것이다. 복은 신이나 알수 없는 능력이 주는 것이지만 행복은 내가 누군가에게 베풀면 생긴다는 말이다. 이건 돈이 많이 들지도 않는데 그리고 모르는 사람에게 베풀지 않아도 된다. 가장 가까이 있는 가족이나 친구에게 해도 된다. 

난 친구들에게 항상 받을 사준다. 그래서 친구들이 미안해 한다. 왜냐하면 난 벌이가 시원치 않기 때문이다. 그렇지만 내가 밥을 산다. 왜냐하면 밥을 사줄 수 있다는 것에 감사하고 행복해 지기 때문이다. 

선한 마음이라고 해도 되고 아니라고 해도 된다. 내가 즐거워서 베푸는 것이니 말이다. 행복은 베푸는 마음과 손길에서 찾아 온다. 

하늘의 복을 받겠다고 운명을 믿는 것도 좋다 하지만 아직 복은 못 받았다면 그래서 불행하다면 복 받으면 행복해 지지 않는 다는 걸 알아야 한다. 그렇게 따지만 부자들은 다 행복해야 해야 하지만 그들도 행복한 사람이 있고 불행한 사람이 있다. 돈이 많은데 왜 불행하겠냐 싶겠지만 재산을 지키는 것도 매우 힘들 일이기 때문이다. 

내 돈을 빼앗으려는 사람들이 주변이 많이 생길 것이니 즐거울 수가 없을 것이다.  빼앗기기 전에 기부하는 것이 낫기 때문에 기부하는 사람들도 있다. 그런데 그런 기부는 행복을 가져다 주지는 않을 것이다. 

작은 것이라도 나누는 마음을 하면 행복해 진다. 어떤 것이라도 좋다 남을 위해 베풀자 돌려 받으려 하지 말고 그냥 주면 된다 . 천원짜리 한장이건 오천원짜리 한장이건 지나가다 어려운 사람을 위해 쓰거나 주면 된다. 작은 배려와 사랑을 전하는 것 그게 당신을 행복하게 만들 것이다. 



2025/03/19

말이 없던 아버지

말이 없던 아버지 

말이 너무 없어서 답답했던 아버지 

결국 말을 하실 때는 잔소리 아니면 야단칠 때 뿐이었다.
왜냐하면 우리 시대의 아버지들은 소리치면 다 굴복하던 시절이었으니 그렇게 해야 하는 줄 아셨던 것 같다.

잔소리도 영어 공부해라, 데모(시위)하지 마라 뿐이었지만 그 말도 참 듣고 싶어하지 않았던 것 같다. 

그래도 참 말씀이 없으셨다. 겨우 쉬는 날 TV 앞에서 마주치거나 저녁 식사 자리에서 마주쳤을 때도 조용히 밥 먹어라는 잔소리를 더 했을 뿐이다. 

아마도 직장에서 할 말을 모두 소진해서 집에 와서는 말을 하고 싶지 않았는지도 모르겠다. 


테스트하는 아들

요즘 아들이 저녁마다 말을 붙이고 질문을 하면 정말 귀찮게 느껴진다. 요즘 자녀가 아버지에게 말을 거는 착한 아들이 있냐고 할지 모르겠지만 울 아들은 성인이 되어서도 자꾸 질문을 한다.

아마도 날 테스트 하는 것 같다. 아버지가 얼마나 아는가 측정하기 위해서 질문을 던지는 것 같다. 

그래서 질문이 수준이 너무 낮다. 질문을 아는 것 만큼 하는 것이기 때문에 질문을 수준을 올리라고 하지만 올라가 질 않는다. 

 자기가 알게 된 지식을 아버지가 알고 있나 테스트를 하려니 토론이 안되고 질문이 되는 것이다.  

이 녀석의 마음을 나는 알 수 없다. 내가 얼마나 알고 있는지 왜 알아 보려고 하는지 말이다. 

자기가 새로운 지식이나 깨달은 것이 있으면 자기 것으로 만들면 되고 어디에 적어 놓고 잊어 먹지 않으면 되는데 꼭 물어 보고 아버지가 아는지 테스트를 한다. 

토론이 가능한 가족

토론이 가능한 가족이 있을 까 생각해 보면 우리 집만 이런 게 아닐 것이다. 서로를 존중하면서도 의견이 다르고 의견이 다르다고 공격하지 않으면서 상대를 설득하는 게 토론이다. 

수준이 같아야 토론이 되는 것은 아니기 때문에 가족의 대화를 토론으로 이끄는 것은 아버지의 몫인 것 같다. 

경청하고 들어주는 것부터 해야 한다. 중간에 끼어들어서 틀렸다고 지적하면 안된다. 끝까지 듣는 게 토론이다.  자녀의 이야기를 다 듣고 바로 대답해주지 말고 배우자의 생각은 어떻지 한번 더 듣고 자신의 의견을 말하는 것을 하면 자연스럽게 토론이 가능해 질 것이다. 

모두 손석희나 김어준일 수는 없어도 가족 토론은 이끌수 있는 능력이 되지 않을까 싶다. 

토론하는 가족 만들기 여러분도 시도해 보기 바란다. 


 

2025/03/18

2025년 3월 18일 대설이 왔다.

 

 

서울에 2025년 3월 18일 함박 눈이 왔다. 기온은 영상 0도이고 오후에는 영상 3~5도 정도 올라갈 예정이다. 따라서 눈은 질퍽한 도로를 만들어 놓았다. 

3월 중순에 대설이 아주 신기한 일이고 기상 이변이라고 생각한다면 착각이다. 3월에 대설이 오는 경우가 간혹 있기 때문에 아주 일상적인 일이라는 것이다. 그것보다는 작년 처럼 봄 꽃들이 한꺼번에 만개하고 사라질까 그게 아쉬울 뿐이다. 

한반도의 기후가 봄, 가을이 없어져 가고 있기 때문이다. 


그냥 오늘은 흰 눈 쌓인 풍경을 즐기면 되는 날이다. 위기를 조장하는 사람들은 항상 별것 아닌 것을 부풀려서 겁이 많은 사람들을 불안하게 만드는 수작을 한다.

그냥 눈이 와서 바닥에 물이 많고 습한 눈으로 우산을 써야하는 불편한 출근 길일 뿐이다. 그리고 이 눈을 치워야 하나 말아야 하는 고민정도다. 오후에 기온이 올라가면 그때 치우면 더 쉽게 해결 될 것으로 보인다. 


올해도 3월에 함박눈을 보는 해가 되었다.  30여년전에 군복무중일 때 3월 말에 함박눈을 보면서 날씨가 지랄이다 했는데 올해도 날씨가 지랄인 것 뿐이다. 

2025/03/07

너희들은 안 늙냐! 노인에 대해서 알아 보자

 노년의 목소리 : 변화와 이해의 공존

60대에 접어들면서, 과거에는 인지하지 못했던 신체적, 정신적 변화를 경험하게 됩니다. 특히, 50대 중반부터 나타나는 목소리의 변화는 타인과의 관계에서 오해를 불러일으키기도 합니다. 의도치 않게 높아진 목소리 톤이나 직설적인 표현은 주변 사람들에게 불쾌감을 줄 수 있으며, 이는 노년기에 흔히 나타나는 현상입니다.


노년의 변화: 신체적, 정신적 요인

  • 의사소통의 변화:
    • 나이가 들면서 소통 방식이 변화하고, 때로는 직설적인 표현이 늘어나 주변 사람들에게 오해를 살 수 있습니다.
    • 이는 의도적인 무시나 하대가 아닌, 단순한 의사소통 방식의 변화일 수 있습니다.
  • 막말의 원인:
    • 신체적 변화, 스트레스, 소통 방식의 차이 등 다양한 요인이 복합적으로 작용하여 막말이 나올 수 있습니다.
    • 본인도 모르게 상처를 줄 수 있음을 인지하고, 서로 배려하는 태도가 중요합니다.
  • 목소리 변화:
    • 청력이나 발음의 변화로 인해 목소리가 커지는 경우가 있습니다.
    • 이는 신체적 노화 현상이며, 화를 내는 것이 아님을 이해해야 합니다.
  • 정신적 변화:
    • 노화로 인한 신체적, 정신적 약화는 불안감과 스트레스를 유발할 수 있습니다.
    • 이러한 감정이 목소리나 행동으로 나타날 수 있으며, 이는 단순한 소통의 문제일 수 있습니다.

노년의 지혜: 배려와 이해의 실천

  • 상대방 존중:
    • 노년의 경험과 지혜를 존중하고, 그들의 이야기에 귀 기울이는 자세가 필요합니다.
    • 상대방을 배려하고 존중하는 언어 습관을 갖도록 노력해야 합니다.
  • 소통 개선:
    • 천천히 부드러운 말투로 말하고, 존댓말을 사용하여 오해를 줄이는 노력이 필요합니다.
    • 자신의 말이 상대에게 어떻게 들릴지 한번 더 생각하고 말하는 습관을 들여야 한다.
  • 정신적 건강 관리:
    • 노년의 불안감과 스트레스를 해소하기 위해 명상, 운동, 취미 활동 등을 통해 정신적 건강을 관리해야 합니다.
    • 긍정적인 마음가짐을 유지하고, 사회활동에 적극적으로 참여하는 것이 좋습니다.
  • 사회적 책임:
    • 노년의 풍부한 경험을 바탕으로 사회에 기여하고, 젊은 세대에게 지혜를 전달하는 역할을 수행해야 합니다.
    • 사회적 갈등을 조장하는 행위에 참여하기보다는, 사회 통합에 기여하는 활동에 참여하는 것이 바람직합니다.

노년은 인생의 황혼기가 아닌, 새로운 시작을 위한 준비 기간입니다. 과거의 경험을 바탕으로 미래를 설계하고, 사회에 긍정적인 영향을 주는 삶을 살아야 합니다.

2025/03/06

봉준호 감독의 신작 미키 17에 대한 평가를 알아보자

봉준호 감독의 SF 대작, '미키 17' 심층 분석


인간 존재를 탐구하는 걸작 

봉준호 감독의 신작 '미키 17'은 단순한 SF 영화를 넘어, 인간 존재의 본질과 사회적 메시지를 깊이 있게 탐구하는 작품으로 평가 받고 있다. 2025년 기대작으로 손꼽히는 이 영화는 봉준호 감독 특유의 연출력과 로버트 패틴슨의 압도적인 연기력이 만나 시너지를 창출하며, 관객들에게 깊은 여운을 남겼다.

SF 장르와의 만남

봉준호 감독은 '미키 17'을 통해 SF 장르에 처음으로 도전했다. 그는 단순한 SF 영화가 아닌, 인간의 복제와 소모, 그리고 그 속에서 피어나는 존재론적 고뇌를 다루며, 자신만의 독창적인 SF 세계를 구축했다. '설국열차', '옥자', '기생충' 등 전작들을 통해 사회 비판적 메시지를 담아왔던 봉 감독은 '미키 17'에서도 특유의 날카로운 시선으로 인간 사회의 어두운 면을 조명한 다.

영화는 2054년, 인간이 살 수 없는 극한의 환경을 가진 행성을 배경으로 한다. 이곳에서 '익스펜더블'이라는 소모품 취급을 받는 복제 인간 '미키'는 위험한 임무에 투입되고, 죽음을 맞이할 때마다 새로운 복제 인간으로 되살아난다. 이러한 설정을 통해 봉 감독은 인간의 존엄성과 생명의 가치에 대한 질문을 던지고, 기술 발전이 가져올 수 있는 윤리적 문제들을 제기한다.


로버트 패틴슨의 연기

1인 다역

미키 17'에서 로버트 패틴슨은 주인공 '미키' 역을 맡아 1인 다역을 완벽하게 소화해냈다. 그는 각각의 '미키'들에게 차별화된 개성과 감정을 부여하며, 복제 인간이라는 설정 속에서 인간적인 고뇌와 갈등을 섬세하게 표현했다.

특히, '미키'가 죽음을 맞이하고 새로운 '미키'로 되살아나는 장면에서는 로버트 패틴슨의 뛰어난 연기력이 빛을 발했다. 그는 죽음에 대한 두려움, 새로운 삶에 대한 혼란, 그리고 자신의 존재에 대한 끊임없는 질문을 깊이 있는 눈빛과 표정으로 전달하며, 관객들을 극 속으로 몰입시켰다.


복제 인간의 정체성

'미키 17'은 복제 인간이라는 소재를 통해 인간 존재의 본질에 대한 질문을 던진다. 영화는 복제 인간 '미키'를 통해 인간의 존엄성과 생명의 가치, 그리고 인간이 스스로를 어떻게 바라보고 정의 하는지에 대한 고민을 제시한다.

'미키'는 끊임없이 복제되고 소모되는 존재이지만, 동시에 자신만의 기억과 감정을 가진 독립적인 인격체이다. 영화는 이러한 설정을 통해 인간의 정체성은 무엇인지, 그리고 인간을 인간답게 만드는 것은 무엇인지에 대한 근본적인 질문을 던진다.


계급, 차별, 그리고 인간의 욕망

봉준호 감독은 '미키 17'에서도 특유의 사회 비판적 메시지를 놓치지 않습니다. 영화는 '익스펜더블'이라는 소모품 취급을 받는 복제 인간 '미키'를 통해 계급과 차별 문제를 제기하고, 인간의 욕망이 만들어낸 어두운 사회상을 비판합니다.


특히, 영화는 2054년이라는 근미래를 배경으로 설정하여, 현재 우리 사회가 직면하고 있는 문제들을 더욱 현실감 있게 다루었다. 봉 감독은 기술 발전이 가져올 수 있는 사회적 불평등과 인간 소외 문제를 날카롭게 지적하며, 관객들에게 깊은 성찰의 시간을 선사한다.

독창적인 SF 세계의 완성

'미키 17'은 봉준호 감독의 섬세하고 독창적인 연출력이 돋보이는 작품이다. 그는 SF 장르의 특징을 살리면서도 자신만의 독특한 스타일을 녹여내며, 관객들에게 새로운 시각적 경험을 제공한다.

특히, 영화는 극한의 환경을 가진 행성을 배경으로 펼쳐지는 만큼, 압도적인 스케일과 섬세한 CG 기술이 돋보인다. 감독은 이러한 시각적 효과를 통해 영화의 주제를 더욱 효과적으로 전달하고, 관객들을 영화 속 세계로 완벽하게 몰입시킨다.

기대와 우려, 그리고 논쟁

'미키 17'은 개봉 전부터 많은 기대를 모았던 작품인 만큼, 다양한 평가와 논쟁을 불러일으키고 있다. 일부 평론가들은 봉준호 감독의 새로운 도전에 찬사를 보내며, 영화의 깊이 있는 주제와 뛰어난 연출력을 높이 평가했다.

반면, 일부 관객들은 영화의 난해한 설정과 다소 무거운 주제에 대해 아쉬움을 표하기도 했다. 또한, 봉 감독의 전작들과 비교하며 영화의 완성도에 대한 논쟁이 벌어지기도 했다.

하지만, '미키 17'은 단순한 오락 영화를 넘어, 인간 존재와 사회에 대한 깊이 있는 질문을 던지는 영화라는 점에서 높은 평가를 받고 있다. 봉준호 감독은 '미키 17'을 통해 다시 한번 자신의 연출력을 입증하며, 한국 영화의 위상을 높였다.


 '미키 17', 봉준호 감독의 새로운 걸작 

'미키 17'은 봉준호 감독의 새로운 도전과 로버트 패틴슨의 압도적인 연기력이 돋보이는 작품입니다. 영화는 단순한 SF 영화를 넘어, 인간 존재의 본질과 사회적 메시지를 깊이 있게 탐구하며, 관객들에게 깊은 여운을 남긴다.

'미키 17'은 봉준호 감독의 전작들을 좋아했던 관객뿐만 아니라, SF 장르에 관심 있는 관객들에게도 강력 추천하는 작품이다. 이 영화는 단순한 오락 영화를 넘어, 우리 삶에 대한 깊이 있는 성찰을 선사할 것이라고 확신한다.


2025/03/05

나는 애드센스로 부터 하루 300원짜리 글을 쓰는 블로거다

구글의 애드센스라는 광고를 자기 블로그나 사이트에 붙여서 광고 수입을 나누어 갖는 시스템이 있다. 그래서 구글이 여러 회사를 운영하지만 그들은 광고 회사라고 불리는 것이다. 

네이버나 다음 그리고 야후같은 대부분의 곳이 자체 광고를 붙여서 유입되는 사람들을 통해 광고 수입을 챙기는 것 과 다르게 구글은 자기 사이트에는 광고하나 없으나 많은 파트너들을 통해 나누어 먹기 광고 시스템을 만들었다. 

그래서 나 같은 블로거를 비롯하여 많은 사람들이 구글과 파트너로 광고 수입을 나누어 먹는 것이다. 

그런데 구글의 정책에 대해서는 알 수가 없기 때문에 사실 불공정 거래 같은 느낌을 받을 때가 있다. 절대 어떻게 해야 수입을 더 많이 낼 수 있는지 안 알려주고 또 정책이 자주 바뀐다. 물론 이를 이용해 먹는 나쁜 사람들 때문이라는 것은 이해가 가지만 사실 답답할 때가 한 두번이 아니다.  

얼마 전 티스토리 블로그의 글 주소를 숫자에서 문자로 다시 문자에서 숫자로 변경한 적이 있다. 물론 숫자보다는 문자가 더 유리하다는 소리를 들어서 바꾸었다가 다시 별 효과 없네 하고 또 바꾸고 그렇다 보니 아무 영향이 없는 줄 알고 한 달에 두 번을 이런 짓을 한 결과 내 티스토리 블로그 수입이 하루 2달러에서 약 3000원에서 300원으로 강등되었다. 

우연히 방문자가 적어서 아니겠냐고 하겠지만 오랜 세월 블로그를 운영하면서 구글이 내 사이트의 가격을 미리 정해 놓는다는 의심을 하고 있었기 때문에 강등이라고 말하는 것이다. 

대부분의 방문은 네이버에서 들어오는데 방문자 수도 그 대로지만 갑자기 수입이 이렇게 추락했다는 것은 구글의 자동 광고가 매우 의심스럽고 또 광고주의 선택을 받지 못한다는 소리밖에 안된다. 

정확히는 모르나 광고주들이 광고를 돈을 주고 내고 그걸 보거나 클릭하거나 상품을 구입했을 때 구글에게 주는 광고비가 다 다르기 때문에 구글은 자사의 이득이 최고로 나오는 블로그나 사이트를 찾아서 밀어주기도 하고 끊어내기도 한다는 생각을 안 할 수 없다. 

 결론은 이런 의심이 들지만 약자인 파트너는 어쩔 도리가 없다. 그저 구글이 날 이쁘 게 봐주기를 기다리는 수 밖에 없다 

그래서 지금은 티스토리를 버릴 준비를 하면서 구글의 블로그인 스팟(spot)을 운영하기 위해 애를 쓰고 있다. 

처음에는 이 구글 블로그의 글쓰기가 익숙하지 않아서 글이 안 써 졌는데 몇주  지나니 이렇게 바로 글을 쓸 수 있게 되었다. 신기한 일이다. 

구글이 300원 자리 블로거로 낙인을 찍어 버렸지만 뭐 정성을 다해 글을 쓰다 보면 좋은 날도 오지 않을까 싶다. 희망한다 아니 바란다. ㅋㅋㅋ